Some Lessons on Love

Driving to work has been very pleasant this past few days. I always had a good discussion of ideas with my staff. This morning our topic was about relationship.

He said that people of age 40 and above should already have full understanding of their partners. They should know their partners well in and out. There is no reason why there should be conflicts between them. But most he knew are the opposites. They seemed not to understand each other more and hated each other like enemies. My staff is in his mid 20's. I should say that even though he spoke well about relationship, he is still not very qualified to discuss it with the seasoned ones.

I had been in few relationships before. My latest being the deepest and the most serious one. I married my partner. I've learned that it is good to know the person you married so you will know how to deal with him/her. But I've learned also that too much knowledge is no good. Too much familiarity about each other sometimes lead to disaster. Reserving some information about yourself will keep your partner guessing. And if you are keeping something good, it will surprise the other half once disclosed. Then he will continue to dig deeper to find out what else is in store for him. This keeps him interested and keeps the spark in the relationship.

I also learned that a partner, even though you've been together for years, is still a different person from you. My late husband though married to me for over a decade is still another unique individual totally different from me and deserving of his privacy... and deserving of respect and happiness.

That learning new things together and discovering something new and nice about your partner will keep the fire burning. And yes, my staff said it right...relationship shouldn't grow old and weary. Everyday is a new journey to the discovery of what will make each other happy.