8Feb2009, Sunday. I was driving to Holy Spirit Parish, this is the church I go to every Sunday. Today, we are the sponsors for the mass and I had to assign the readers and offerers. I had to be there before the mass starts.
While driving, I was thinking, what could be God's plan for me? I remembered Job. Job is the Bible character in the play I saw when I was still in my elementary years. His story had a great impact in me. He is a man of great faith, trust, and wisdom. He was the richest person in his place, in his time. He lost everything but gained them all back not only in doubles but tenfolds. Never did he get angry with God. I then asked, is God going to make me suffer like him? I prayed, "Please Lord, don't!!! I do not want this kind of test." With this still playing in my mind, we reached the church.
I started looking for readers. I came to Ruel Sta Cruz and his daughter, both of them declined. I moved forward and saw a new face. I shook hands with him and introduced myself. He said "Ellie"-that's his name. "Second Reading?", I asked handing him the misalette. He was surprised but nicely accepted the assignment. I heard Glenn Cabasug laughed and realized I just gave an assignment to his brother who flew in this morning from Manila for the Glenn~Mayette wedding. I felt ashamed but I guess I got my choice right. Isay will do the Prayers of the Faithful and I will do the First Reading and the Psalms. Now it is time for me to rehearse the first reading. "NO!!!! My God!!!", I exclaimed to myself. The first reading is from the book of Job. I was almost teary-eyed. I do not want this, please. Huhuhu!!! I then saw the Psalms, it was a relief. It was something like "Praise the Lord who heals the brokenhearted". Whew!!! He knew how broken I am. My dreams, my heart, my family, my goals, my passion - all of me are broken now! But I will trust in His promise. He will heal my broken heartedness and give back everything I lost in tenfolds. But again, Lord, please, I beg you, not like Job's.
Finding out the meaning of Ellie's name but spelt as ELI means "God is exhalted".
ReplyDeleteFor a broken heart to heal and flourish, it has to be opened, open so that the heart will be able to receive the flow of Love, Care and Compassion, as all these are the remedy to heal a broken heart... just like a withered flower that needs rain and sunshine to heal and grow back into a beautiful and strong flower...
ReplyDeleteGod created this world where a lot of things are inter-connected. Like plants need rain and sunshine. And for you my dear, the obvious answer is that you need Love and Care.
I'm so glad you finally found a place for you to write your thoughts. Even more so, I am happy that you shared it with me :-)
ReplyDeleteI have always loved the way you write. And its good to know you use your talent in writing by talking about how you feel, good or bad, happy or sad. You are an incredible woman! I'm not just saying that. You give so much and for that, God will always be there to lift you up and take care of you and your heart :-)
Hi Eric, Thanks for that comment. I understand every single word you've written. Opening one's heart is easier said than done. My time will come. And when that right time comes, I know I will fully be healed.
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