No, I Am Not Ready Yet

I heard over the homily of the newly ordained priest on Monday morning of the Solemnity of the Annunciation.

Emergency Room is popularly abbreviated as ER.  Emergency Room is the section in the hospital where most Encounters are experienced so the medical personnel are expected to be Ready all the time.

This has a big impact on me.  Allow me to relate all the encounters I had.

Good Friday of 2018, I was enjoying the waters of Laiya, Batangas.   Then I had an accident.  I fell face-on-water off the banana boat that we were riding.  I cannot remember anything except everything was grey.   I felt somebody helped me out. It was my son.  He asked if I was ok and I quickly said "I am not."  It was lucky that there was a speed boat just few feet away from us. They helped me out of the water and to the shore.  I felt water was flowing out of my mouth and my lips were foamy.  I was asking myself, "Am I going to die now?" I was brought to the shore, hurriedly transferred from the speed boat to the stretcher and to the area where Red Cross was.  I was asked questions, given instructions which with their help I was able to follow.  They did their best to save me and finding out my oxygen level was very low, they decided I should be brought to the nearest hospital.  Still on that stretcher, I was carried and they "loaded" me at the back of a customized open-back vehicle that served as an ambulance. I cannot remember how far the hospital was.  All I remember is I could not breath.  I was calling all the saints to help me survive.  I was calling on Pope John Paul II and Padre Pio.  I was calling on Mama Mary.  I was calling on God to help me.  I was admitted at the the San Juan District Hospital Emergency Room.  They all swiftly attended to me. I was trembling.  I was not feeling cold but my whole body was shaking.  They scissored my swimming top and changed my clothing to hospital gown.  They put me in nebulizer, drip, injected medicines and put me in oxygen.  I heard after some minutes that my vital signs are already normal.  They recommended though that I be transferred to a private hospital to check for any internal injuries.  I was ambulanced straight to Calamba Medical Center where all my siblings were waiting worriedly.  Then I was again in ER.  They had me x-rayed, blood collected and medicine was going to be injected on me.  I quickly told the nurse to do a test first. She was hesitant.  She would like to give me the antibiotic but my sisters and I insisted.  It turned out I am allergic to it.  My X-Ray result was not good.  My lungs had salt water in it and I have to be admitted to ICU.  In ICU the blood test result was also not good.  My Potassium was very low. Two nights in ICU and another 2 nights in a standard room, then I was discharged from the hospital.

I had so many encounters on those hospital days.  In the homily the priest mentioned, we have encounters with God day by day.  Each time we wake up is a new encounter.  And if we won't wake up, that is another encounter.  Are we ever ready for this encounter?

My answer is NO.  I am not ready.  On the way to Calamba in an ambulance was the longest journey I ever had.  I was thinking about my son.  I am not ready to leave him.  I am thinking about all my misgivings.  Have I forgiven those who hurt me? Have I asked forgiveness to those I have hurt? No, not yet.  Everyday is an encounter with people who we could make happy, sad or painful.  Everyday is an encounter with God through these people.  But that day, was a direct encounter with God.  People helped me survive.  They have the knowledge and expertise to do it but only God has the power to help me get through it. God chose to give me a second chance.  A chance to help  ready myself in the final encounter with Him.