Ampie is Hungry!

Touchdown HK Airport

After 15 years, I am fortunate to visit Hong Kong again.  24 September 2011, my parents, Ampie - my sis-in-law, and I flew to Hong Kong for a short tour.  The first time I visited HK was in the late 90's. It was easy to move around because I was with my late husband who spoke fluent Mandarin and Cantonese.  This time we have to use sign languages to communicate with vendors and the dilemma started as early as the time we arrived Hong Kong airport and needed transport from the airport to Guang Dong Hotel.

It is not often that my parents are with me when I travel.  It is the first time they went with me for an overseas trip and I did not only enjoy it, I treasure it.  I witnessed how it is to be with them in trips like this.  My mom walks very fast, while my dad takes his time - all the time.  We had good laughing time going up and down the elevator, getting lost looking for restaurants, lounges, even our hotel room (I am laughing while writing this remembering how we wasted most of our time going to the 16th floor then to the lobby, back to the 16th floor because we're looking for some room located on the first floor.) It also makes me laugh remembering how my mom used to tell me that we have to find food because "Ampie is hungry" when it was actually herself who wanted to eat.  Until my dad started saying that "Malen" is hungry trying to say he wanted to eat too.  As I said my dad walks very slow so I asked Ampi to walk with him.  Then because I lead the way, I had to walk with my mom.

Meal at the airport before they flew back to Manila

The subway experience was a lot of fun too. I've never experienced train in Hkg. And it was very difficult because most of the signs are written in Chinese characters.  I have to ask people and most of them don't speak English. Huh!!! But I braved the place. We made it to Mong Kok and with the help of the map that was given to us plus the ability to speak both English and self made sign languages, we were able to go to the Ladies' Night Market, shopped a bit,  ate dinner, and came back to the hotel.

I arranged a day-tour to Macau.  My mom is scared of going to Macau and she doesn't like boat rides but she is a person who loves to travel overseas so she didn't deny herself of the new experiences. We were picked up by Grey Line Tours and was brought to the Ferry Terminal.  Albert, our tour guide with the RED umbrella, fetched and showed us the place.  As usual, my mom just looked at all the places and patiently waited for LUNCH.  I think she didn't enjoy the place but our time together - our time laughing at each other, our time trying all kinds of food, and of course our time spending money for shopping.
It was just a really short trip and I am so happy that I was given the opportunity to experience traveling with my parents. And honestly, I'm happy it's just a short trip. I now understand the meaning of patience. Hearing the two of them argue, having different ideas because they are actually talking about two different things! LOL!!!

Aboard the bus on our way to the airport

I felt sad and worried when we dropped them to the airport. The gate they were to go was very far. And they are not very good with directions anymore.  I am sad because I had a great time with them and I am surely missing them. Their flight was delayed but we were updated as soon as they reached home safely. I am looking forward to have another SHORT trip with them...just another SHORT trip. :)

My Ignorance - PNG Experience

PNG men in Singsing Costume

I was driving to drop my hair stylist to work this morning. We talked about PNG ways.  I told him one of the experiences I had in my early years in PNG. Allow me to share it with you too.

It was in 1992, I was in training business.  I had a culture shock the first day I landed in Port Moresby.  The dress up, the hair, the names were all... UNIQUE! My dad already briefed me about a lot of things and I know that their language is called Pidgin.  It was derived from the word pigeon. According to him it was because they have a lot of languages and most sound like birds.   I was slowly learning PNG words and ways.   

Where I used to work, I was given a training assistant.  She dressed up really nicely. On her first day in the office, she came wearing a nice top and skit suitable for ladies working in Makati. You can imagine that her "get-up" is so business type. In one of our conversations she mentioned to me that all her clothes came from Manila. Her aunt, a flight stewardess, used to buy nice office clothes for her in Manila.  The only thing that I got shock about was the old, big, slippers she was wearing. It didn't match her outfit.  I was about to ask her why she is not wearing proper shoes, but she opened her bag while telling me about why she was late.  From her bag, she took out a pair of decent 1-inch-heeled black shoe, put it on, took her slippers and kept it inside her nice shoulder bag.  My mouth dropped in surprise. Anyway, when she was introduced to me, I was so amazed.  I know that Pidgin is their language and they derived it from birds.  But I could not believe their names will again be related to birds. Her name was "Egg Nest".  I wanted to laugh but I just kept it to myself.

After few weeks, I came to learn more about PNG. The slang that they use, their pronunciations, their favourite words.  They cannot pronounce the letter "r". Brother is pronounced as brotha, year is yia, four is foa.  They use a long "a"; fax which we pronounce with short "a" is pronounced as fax (fex) with long "a".  A sack of rice is pronounced as a "sek" of rice .  I then worked out, I was so ignorant. My assistant's name is not "Egg Nest".  Her name is Agnes (pronounced with a long "a" - 'Egnes'). LOL!

From that time on, I do not look at them as too remote, or too backward. I regard myself as too ignorant, sometimes too stupid too.  That is my first PNG experience, am still learning a lot and continuing to forgive myself for my ignorance. :)

That Woman (unedited)

This was written by somebody who is very dear to me. I believe he wrote this when he was very angry with me. Angry is an understatement. I know I caused him so much pain and I just couldn't believe he could write this in the midst of agony. My heart bleeds for him and how I wish I could mend whatever injury I caused. But...there is just no way to do it....

................ or is there?


"In 42 years of my life, I really never thought that I could find a person as unique as she is... A person who for almost 2 years influenced, teach and guide me to deal in my everyday life....

That WOMAN....... is a responsible daughter to her parents, a supportive sister to her siblings, a "super mom" to her son...

That WOMAN........ is a shoulder to lean on for her friends, a strong and respectable leader to her suborbdinates, a provider for others...

That WOMAN.... sometimes also break out and fall to her knees ( well, everyone of us does ), but that doesn't necessarily mean it will bring her down. Instead every shortcomings, every fall, every tears..... she considered them as challenges for her to overcome and to learn....

That WOMAN....... is a real Christian... A God fearing individual... she's not that religious in a sense, but she put that christianity in her into actions, by humbly obeying the commandments and sharing her blessings. You can clearly see her sincerity in love and prayers, intended not only for her benefit but also for others as an individual and as a whole...

That WOMAN..... is a fighter, her character is moulded from the battles in life she encountered and encoutering... Think twice in dealing with her..... the sweet apperance and soft spoken words are not your basis to fool her... Wait till you get the taste of it... Her silence is not submission, it's an agenda that surely will return to you to realize your mistakes and wrong intentions....

That WOMAN.... is a joyfull and a shalow person... you can easily recognize her by the smile that she wears at all times... A simple joke can fill the room with her laugh.. Not just an ordinary laugh but a burst and head turning one..

That WOMAN.... is soooooo caring, you might not see it at once, but as you go along with her, you can feel that step by step affection slowly injected in you...

That WOMAN... is a role model... you can easily be influence by her doings in many ways..
I for one, is not really a writer.. ( Well still I am not.. He He...) But she easily convinced me to try... This is one of the outcome ( blame her.... he he )... Kidding aside writing helps me a lot.. in a way, this serves as my outlet to show what I feel.... what I feel for her (you can follow it in almost all of my notes...)..... the joys, the excitements, the love and..... the pains (most of them deleted... Ha ha ha). Anyway, I knew some part of her as a person, her undertakings, her achievements, her joys and her thoughts... thru her writtings...
What I wrote is just the picture of her.. the way she shows it to me and the way I was able to translate it...

My perception of her as my friend, my enemy and my love .... that WOMAN.

052420111125....."

Arkansas: The Natural State

s bird nest(?) in the middle of the forest-like Nature Center.

From 17 April. While California, Nevada and Arizona are mountainous states, Arkansas is very flat.  We were welcomed by plain lands, farms most of them.  The first thing I saw was a small yellow plane flying at low altitude. My brother-in-law told me to guess what it was doing.  I did not have idea at all.  He said it was spraying insecticides.

One of the places we visited in Arkansas was the Nature Center in Jonesboro.  It show cased the different fauna and flora of the state.  We watched a documentary that showed Craighead County as part of the ocean millions of years ago.  It showed how the strong quakes shooked and changed the face of the county - very strong quake that reversed the flow of the Mississippi River. Now it is inhabited by plants, by animals, by human.  But the video also showed how nature really owns the place.  The tornadoes, the thunder and lightning, the hail and snow reigns and no man can go against them.  And how slowly Craighead County is coming back to its beginning...to the waters, to the ocean, "drop by drop".

Hmmm...it made me nervous and curious. Nervous because this is my sister's family's residence.  I do not want anything to happen to them.  I am curious.  How many years and how many drops of water is needed? It rains big time in Arkansas. :)

A Visit to Chicago, the Windy City

waiting to be boarded

It was really a long whole day trip .  Started with a bus trip from Toronto to Michigan, then we drove and spent the night at the Marriot Courtyard in Chicago. It was an amazing view seeing one of America's richest city at night.  The towering skyscrapers, the view of the building lights as we enter the city were awesome. From the eyes of a simple person like me who spent 17 years in the remoteness of PNG, this view is ecstatic. It was very windy and cold that night but we still walked around and took photos.  Had simple dinner and drove to the hotel.

Though exhausted from the long trip the day before, I still managed to get up excitedly to see Chicago at daytime. And daylight displayed the city at its best.  The magnificent buildings, the roads system,

the beautiful flowers on the roadside, the busy streets full of people walking to go their works, the thousands of tourists walking around in groups with their cameras and all that is a new view for me.

the tulips by the roads of chicago

We went on a boat tour of the Chicago River. The tour guide was telling us the history of the city and named the owners, residents, architect and builders as we pass by the towering buildings. It was windy but the sun was very hot. It's almost summer in Chicago and I know I was going to get so much tan without my hat and glasses. But I did not care. It was an informative, interesting, amazing experience.

Chicago skyscrapers as seen from the end of the river.

aboard the Wendella boat.

My Other One

I have always written my thoughts in this blog site.  And I am contented being here.  One day, though, a friend suggested that I try tumblr.com.  I am impressed by the features of tumblr but I still cannot fully use it the way blogspot has been useful for me.  I have posted almost the same items there as in here, shorter there though. 


I decided then, that tumblr will have "My Footprints" which is the summary of my travels while "My Thoughts" would still keep my insights.


http://arlenebc168.tumblr.com/ is my other site.  And "My Thoughts" is still going to be my first and main one :)

Weak in Canada

View from the 10th floor condo unit of my cousin

We decided to move on with our tour without my sis and her family.  It was disappointing  because we were looking forward to go together to Canada. But there was a delay in the release of their visa from Canadian High Comm.  1st May 2011, my son and I boarded Delta Air from Memphis to Detroit and Detroit to Toronto.  Our flight was delayed for almost an hour from Detroit.  This added 1000 points to our Miles cards :).  The wait was worth it.  And Toronto here we come!

We were met by my cousins Ate Ombay and Ate Lucy with Lolyn braving the roads of Toronto.  It was cold and raining. Aj was playful of the smoke coming out of his mouth when he spoke. It was cold and the fog was covering the supposed to be beautiful view along the way from Pearson (YYZ) airport to where my cousins live.   They live on the 10th floor in a condominium.  You can see a great view from their terrace that shows downtown nicely when the sky is clear.  A sumptuous meal was prepared for us (I loved the dinuguan and the apple crumble baked by Yeya).  We cried, we laughed, we reminisce. We were tired but I just didn't feel like sleeping yet. We told stories until it was 2am.

Yeya's apple crumble

nice dinuguan

I also met with my best friend, Cynia and her family during our tour.  We slept over at their place for two nights.  They brought us to Red Lobster, 360 CN Tower, the museum, Max's Restaurant and the Imperial Buffet.  My cousins brought us to downtown and had lunch there. We walked in the rain at Nathan Phillips Square.  It was a fantastic very cold experience. We went to the shops of Toronto and to the most awaited Niagara Falls.  I fell in love with the place and I will write a separate blog about this.

Our last day in Toronto was very busy.  We went to Asian shops to buy food and at Ikea where Ate Ombay bought gifts for my nanay. She and Lolyn brought me also to the Scarborough Bluffs.  A very serene place.  If I could stay there for hours, I will just be sitting down quietly, contemplating, meditating, thinking, writing, watching the view, thinking, thinking, thinking... it was so peaceful there. I wished I stayed more than just a week in Toronto but my schedules were all set. A change was not advisable.

serene views of Scarborough Bluffs

It was with heavy heart that I left Toronto.  I know my son also felt the same. He told me he would love to study there.  I felt weak that I really cried.  My heart was going to explode.  I love it there and if given a chance, I will move to Canada.

Going to the Windy City

It was a long 4 hours drive from Toronto to Detroit with the first stop at London, Ontario. We slept almost the whole length of the trip and just waking up at every town for the stop. The last stop was at Windsor then we got into that quite long tunnel, the other side of it is Detroit, Michigan. Detroit is one of the 10 largest cities in USA. The GM building (the used to be most popular car manufacturer in US) seats by the Detroit River. We were met by Robin, Leng and Kalel at the Greyhound station. We spent few hours walking by the Detroit River. I felt sad. Two days ago I was so excited looking at US from Canada by the Niagara on the Lake. Now I am on the other side. Looking at Canada from across the Detroit River.   But we have to keep moving as we have other places to go.  So we got on our “super mobile” and off we went to our next destination - Chicago, Illinois.

I Heard you...

"I want a lacktop!, I want a lacktop!" Kalel was shouting inside the car asking his dad to buy him a toy laptop from Walmart. His dad said we'll buy it but not just yet.  He would scream and cry impatiently trying to win over his dad. Like most of the kids his age, Kalel has the tendency to be very pushy. He would cry and make a scene until he gets what he wants. His dad is a soft man who gives Kalel whatever he wishes but a hard man as well making Kalel learn something before he gets what he wants.

The laptop was the very thing Kalel wants to have that time.  I always sit next to him and every time he remembers  the laptop, he would shout and cry. I spoke to him but not in a sweet manner.  I told him he has told us a lot of times what he wants and we've heard him clear enough. "You do not have to say it over and over and over and over and over again." I told hm his wailing was annoying me and the more he repeats what he is saying the more unhappy I become. That one more time I hear him ask grumpily for a laptop, the longer he is going to wait to have one. From that time on, he would speak of the laptop only once. Just once to remind us what he wants but never did he cry or wail again pushing us to get it quickly.  His dad got the laptop days ago but gave it to Kalel as a prize for his good behaviour, and only when he has proven he deserved the prize.

Kids of Kalel's age normally do not have good focus, they tend to forget things.  Kalel is an exemption. He remembers and he learns...very quickly. Every morning his dad brings him to school.  He would tell Kalel to go to the bathroom before he goes for a nap. "Tell Mr. Wayne if you need something and tell Mr. Wayne if somebody has hurt you." Yesterday, when he dropped him off to school and starts his daily words, Kalel told him. "Dad, you've told me that a lot of times and I heard you clear enough. You do not need to tell me over and over and over again."  I got blamed for this. :)

What message do I want to relay? Like any father, God listens to us.  He knows exactly what we want even before we ask for it. We have to be patient in asking.  If it is good for us, we'll get it.  If we prove we are deserving, He'll give us.  If we don't receive it, it's not good for us or we didn't prove deserving.  But in whatever way, He never leaves us empty handed.

Home at Jonesboro, Arkansas

Aj fixing his helmet before he could ride the bike.

The Home where we stayed most. The new home for my sister’s family (Robin, Leng and Kalel).
1) This is where I had my first Tornado warning experience- the whizzing sound of the strong wind combined with the siren to warn people about the coming tornado-scary. The power was cut off. We had to hide inside the bathroom carrying pillows, comforters and small mattress to cover ourselves.  The tornado went pass but did not leave any damages.  Little Kalel asked, “Are we having fun here?”

2) Garage sale experience - my sister and I came to a house of Slovenian lady. She is very light to talk to. We got some items which my mom said I should get for her…from the yard sale.

3) Getting lost-while-walking-experience (hahahaha!), AJ was on a bike while I walked the whole village. The farther we walked, the bigger the houses become.  Impressive! How I wish I can have a house like theirs.  I enjoyed walking while looking at the different houses and their landscapes.  I had a pedometer to count my steps. I reached few more steps to 9000 steps. I kept asking AJ if he knew where we’re going. He said he did, but as soon as we were at the end of the road, he didn’t know how to go back hahahaha! I rang Leng and got directions on how to walk back to the house. I just had to walk and turn left each time I see a new street.  It was starting to rain, I wasn’t wearing any jacket, AJ was.  He gave me his jacket, asked me to use it so I won’t get wet. He pedaled back in a bike to the house.  The wind was getting stronger and colder and that night was the tornado experience.

4) This is where I experienced the hot yoga. At Nirvana at downtown Jonesboro, a nice lady teaches yoga. It was really hot and difficult to breath. Sandra, the yoga instructor, told us what we should know as beginners: breath through the nose, do not force ourselves to do the stretching we cannot do.  She will be happier to see us resting, lying down instead of pushing ourselves and later faint or throw up.  How happy I was that she said that. I spent half the session either sitting down or in a resting (lying) position.  I just enjoyed the heat (it’s like winter outside LOL!).  I felt very light after the yoga session.  I think I sweated like enough to lose some pounds hahaha.

5) I cooked dinner, I washed clothes. Things I long didn’t do in PNG. I enjoyed doing them here.  Here, when I cook they all just politely compliment and ate whatever I cooked.  Whether it was good or not, they cannot complain. That’s all they can get from me.  LOL!

6) I have time shopping with AJ. And we go to Barnes and Noble where he reads his El Fili book and the summaries.

Nice place. Nice house. Nice experiences. Nice family.

I Woke Up...

Looking at me 5 years back. I was in a big mess. I was not sleeping at all because I was always thinking about what is happening to my marriage, to my life. Why these things are happening? How could this happen to me? Why am I so unlucky? I had less sleep, less food, more worrying, more assuming, more on feeling sad and having self pity. I became, skinny, dry-looking, tired, worn out, ugly person. I was hoping people will sympathize with me. But they didn't. In fact one of them even stole from me. Did people believe that somebody stole from me? Most didn't. Some even said I just made it up to cover up for the bad things that were happening to me. I heard people were talking about me - "pulutan" as one of the white friends married to a Filipina said. They were laughing at me, ridiculing me and even persecuting me. They judged me as if they have known how I lived as a person. They do not anymore greet me whenever we meet, it felt like they were ashamed, too ashamed to be associated with me. And I saw all these. I witnessed what the popular saying meant "If you laugh, the world laughs with you. If you cry, you cry alone."

So I woke up. I learned my lessons. I did not entertain bad thoughts anymore. I left in God's hands all my worries. Literally, I did. I prayed and said "Lord, I can't handle this anymore. Take this all away from me." I let go of things that were beyond my control. I read about good things. I thought about positive things. I associated myself with people who talked about positive possibilities. I did not care about what "other" people said, I just looked at the bright side of everything. I waited for the sun to shine after each storm. I saw rainbows and bright lights, good things. Then I met all people again with my smiles. They are all smiling back at me now. I realized I was able to conquer myself. I was able to stand up again. And the same people who were looking down, persecuting me before, are here with open arms, as if they were the ones who uplifted me-wanted to be categorized as my saviour. In fact, I am so thankful to them. If they were not there to press me down I could not see myself as I am now. I would not do anything to stand up so they cannot stamp on me. And I realized how very, very few friends i really have. And now that I have gone stronger and braver. My real friends are the ones who are so silent about their contribution. I appreciate them with all my heart.

Now I have become stronger person. I learned, the caliber of a person is not how well she prepares for everything to go right, but how she stands up and moves on after everything has gone wrong.

Not Without a Song

Easter Sunday is a visit to Memphis, Tennessee, the home of the rhythm and blues, home of the King of Rock and Roll-Elvis Presley. It was an hour and a half drive from Jonesboro. We spent few hours strolling and taking photos by the Mississippi River. We saw part of the city in a trolley where we passed by the Orpheum Theater, and that place where Martin Luther King was assassinated. After one round on a trolley route we headed to Graceland.

The tour for the house of Elvis Presley was already closed. So we decided to just take photos outside the gate. And it was not just us. There were few tourists who were also outside taking photos of the house of Elvis. Two ladies from Toronto were there with us and they said they were inside for 6 hours the day before. There’s so much to see and if you are an Elvis fan, there’s so much to really inspire you. Just opposite the house of Elvis is the Lisa Marie plane. According to my brother-in-law, Robin, Elvis used to fly to Vegas aboard this plane to have his favourite peanut butter sandwiches. What a lifestyle.


Tennessee is a rich state. It has Nashville, its capital and also known as the Music City. Memphis itself is a rich city. I can tell that a lot of tourists come to visit Elvis’ house. A lot of souvenir shops around that sell stuffs with Elvis’ pictures, his signature, everything that will remind of him. He’s long gone but he still provides business to this city. His music is still being played everywhere in Memphis. His memory lives. His legacy stays. Memphis is never going to be Memphis "not without a song" from Elvis.

I bought some souvenirs (not to forget the fridge magnets that my friend Cez asked me to get for her) and my son, AJ, who loves music bought a pick case with a pick inside that has a print of Elvis signature on it. Then we headed to Mississippi where we had our dinner at the Colton’s. We didn’t spend much time in Mississippi as it was already time to go back home. Tiring weekend. Tomorrow, for sure we’ll sleep in.

Mini-Vegas Missouri

It was a long 4-hour drive from Arkansas to Branson, Missouri. The road was slippery due to the rain. We took the long zigzag way. The view was more plains, forests, farms and no towns at all. It was raining and cold at 59 degrees. I did not sleep at all as I enjoy the experience and would like to make sure I can write something about it. We reached Branson and had good buffet lunch before we went to the wax museum. We had fun taking photos almost the whole afternoon. We wanted to do the Aqua ducks but because of the weather we decided to skip this activity. We completed our trip by going to a Premium outlet (Nike outlet, Old Navy, Rue 21, Tommy Hillfiger, Disney, Coach, Levis’ etc) where we bought more gifts to be brought back to Philippines.

Branson, Missouri is a nice place. It looks like it is sitting on top of the mountain. I can consider it as a mini-Vegas with entertainment from one corner to another. It's a busy city and I can tell by the number of shoppers at the outlet that business is doing well in this place. It also seemed that lots of local tourists visit the place, that is based on the cars parked around. Though it is much simpler than Vegas, or I can say it is comparable to the busy Cavill Ave in Gold Coast. Well this comparison is just based on a day experience at Branson. I believe if we stayed few days I will discover a lot more of things about this state.

Driving back home was via Harrison way, a longer way but safer road as we passed few towns after towns. It was a long, dark drive with thunder and lightning which made it really very scary for me. It was my first time to travel in the midst of lightning and flash-flood watch. Luckily there was no tornado watch. It was such a different experience. I asked Leng and Robin to stop at one of the towns and spend the night in one of the hotels but Leng said it is safe to travel back. She convinced me that I did not have to worry because Robin’s driving is safe and slow. I slept to ease my fear while getting courage by holding on to my rosary. We reached the house in Arkansas at around 2am with Leng taking on the wheel from Robin when it was just an hour drive to Jonesboro. Whew! This is just a practice of the next road trips we are going to take. Tomorrow is back to Memphis, Tennessee and Mississippi.

Awesome Arizona Hoover Dam

Hoover Dam is a marvel of modern engineering. It is named as one of the Top 10 Construction Achievements of the 20th Century. Another result of combined intelligence of many people who constructed it. It was built to harness the wild Colorado river. The Hoover Dam harnessed the power of Colorado River to control its raging flood and provide hydroelectric power. It paved the way to the development of the West - Los Angeles, Phoenix, Nevada that grew from small desert towns struggling to meet their water and power needs.

As I stood viewing the scary height/depth of this dam (726 feet above border of Nevada and Arizona), I was telling myself it took a lot of perseverance to create this. It must have taken years to complete this. It must have a real good leader to get this up. Took a lot of men to work on this who believed in this project. The men who built this, and I mean the ones who really dirtied their hands have suffered the heat of the sun during summer, have won the cold snow during winter. I have not experienced snow but I cannot tolerate the cold weather even though it is already spring. I am wondering, how colder it was during those days? How much colder during winter nights?

I was awed by the site of this engineering. The depth of the dam, the strength of the walls, the height of the mountain that was cut…it must have cost a lot of money, cost a lot of lives. At the entrance of the dam is the flag of United States of America, proudly swaying and giving honours to those who made this dam a possibility-the Hoover dam that nearly didn’t happen. "The story of the Hoover Dam is a story of hardship and perseverance. It is a story of a great building feat."

What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas

Majestic! One word that I found to describe Las Vegas - The Sin City, The Entertainment Capital of the World. Just 50 miles away from the natural beauty of The Valley of Fire, Las Vegas (LV) brags of it's man-made grandeur. The architectures of the hotels, the colorful dancing lights that brighten its nights, the artistic and great shows invite thousands of tourists to flock and see the great city in the desert-the city that never sleeps. Just imagine, in the desert - and we know that rarely anything will survive in a desert. But men was able to make it as one of the busiest, grandest city in the world and one of the most beautiful too ... on desert grounds.

I walked the streets of Vegas. The popular "Strip" is always full packed with tourists. The fountain shows in front of Bellagio and Caesar's Palace are waited to be seen again and again by spectators to be entertained, to be amazed, to be inspired by the intelligence of people who created them. The casinos never sleep, the buffet is fabulous, there are shows and shopping everywhere. This is the place to spend, the place to be entertained, where the adults will really enjoy, you name it they have it there. There's a lot more to see, but time was so short and we have 2 minors with us. We had to limit our activities to those suitable for them, too.

It was a tiring but wonderful experience. I compared the two places that amazed me in Nevada - The Valley of Fire and Las Vegas. Both magnificent, both grand, one natural, one man-made. It only proves one thing God is ever great. He created the nature that stands million of years and retains its beauty, and He created man, who with intelligence and art can create things of beauty.

Next stop...Arizona.

Leave Only Footprints

Flabbergasted. That's one word that totally described how I felt upon seeing the Valley of Fire State Park at Nevada, USA.

"Dedicated in 1935, Valley of Fire is Nevada's oldest state park. It is located only 50 miles northeast of Las Vegas. The rough floor and jagged walls of the park contain brilliant formations of eroded sandstone and sand dunes more than 150 million years old. These features, which are the centerpiece of the park's attractions, often appear to be on fire when reflecting the sun's rays." -http://www.desertusa.com/nvval/

150 Million years old! That is OLD! This splendid landscape witnessed what has happened to this world. This rock formation, so grand and so beautiful is being preserved by the State of Nevada to bring us back to the past, maybe its glorious past and show off its magnificent present.

I come to realize we are really but transients in this world. In a span of few years we are to leave. They, the nature, have yet for million more years to stay . Stay to impress, stay to remind, stay to witness everything men will do to them. Nature is the real owner of this world, we are only to borrow a portion to become personally ours in few decades. We are just humble creations and should not be proud of our accomplishments, but be thankful for the opportunities given to us to be able to enhance other peoples' lives, to be able to bring joy, be able to help, to be able to give love. And as we go, we have nothing to bring with us and nothing to leave to the nature but our footprints.

A Visit to the Past

First time that we traveled North and I am so excited. My sis-in-law, Jojie, and I were joking when they dropped my son and myself off at the Centennial Terminal 2 Airport. I would be in 2 places at the same time. I would be in the Philippines on 8 April at 8:30 pm, I will be in LAX on 8 April at 8:30 pm. How cool is that?

It was a long flight which I spent most sleeping. I watched 2 movies (Unstoppable and RED) then slept again. Aj was playing games and slept too. Few hours after breakfast was served, they announced we're landing shortly. We were fetched by my neice, Dey, and her sweet daughter Keilani. It was 12 degrees and it rained while on our way to Orange County. We took away In n Out Burger, drove to their home where we were warmly welcomed by the rest of the family. And it was time to sleep again.

I have flown thousand of miles to see the place and be amazed by the beauty of this country. My first day was spent driving to Laguna Beach, visiting a school to watch Kiana's game, going to different shops to buy my new cam. The people are warm, the place is sunny, cold a bit, but nice weather I should say. But nothing is more beautiful than the feeling I have now. First I have the chance to bond with AJ. And I again met a nice family member. Being with Dey, who I have not seen for more than a decade, meeting her beautiful family for the first time, being entertained by sweet Keilani, being welcomed warmly by James, Dey's husband, and having a short but nice chat over dinner with Kiana and Michael is priceless. Dey has grown into a beautiful super-mom! She's so caring about her kids. She is trying hard, I know, to show us around and at the same time be able to do her tasks as a driver, a cook, a house maid - a mom. LOL! I witnessed how so wonderful a woman she has become. I used to just see and read her in Twitter and Facebook but now, to be actually with her...it feels good. I felt like the happy past is back, only now we're more matured, more knowledgeable, more enduring. We had a talk about our younger past together. We brought back those happy childhood days, the old Canlubang and talked about everything we've gone through (don't forget our past crushes). Life wasn't easy for her, it wasn't easy for me too. But we both have the same summary about it, God is so wonderful, life is so nice. Everything happens for a purpose. Reminiscing the past made us feel we're in two places at the same time- the present in our new lives and the past - the lives that made us stronger and be what we are now.

Welcome! Please Come In.

The king who loves to collect paintings announced for a heart painting competition. A lot of artists joined and submitted their works. The king's assistants chose the works that are worth showing to the king and set aside the rest. While the king was viewing all the chosen paintings placed in a big room in the palace, he heard one of the artists arguing with the assistant demanding for an explanation why his entry was not chosen. Intrigued, he asked his assistant to bring the artist and his work. The king was disappointed upon seeing the painting. It was never close to the theme he set. It was a painting of a rectangle.

The king said, "Is this the painting you said should be chosen? I do not see anything great about it. It is just a colourful drawing of an insignificant rectangle. " The artist replies, "This is no simple figure of a rectangle, my king. It s a painting of a door. If you will look at it properly, there is no knob to open it. It is the door to one's heart. It could be opened but only from the inside and only for those who you wish to open your heart to."

This was the theme of the priest's homily yesterday at the mass at Don Bosco Canlubang (Philippines). It is but true that no one can enter and be a part of our lives unless we allow them to. It is our choice whether or not to help a needy knocking for help, assist a friend seeking assistance, or for a person to be loved by us, an enemy to be hated by us - this is our heart, a human heart.

After listening to this homily, I asked myself, how would one paint God's heart? Would it be a door with a knob from the outside? Would it be a door wide opened? Or probably a doorless entry, even with a big WELCOME sign in front? God has opened His heart for everyone to come in. He has helped the needy, loved those who loved Him and even those who persecuted Him. Have we opened our knob-less heart from the inside to let our selves out and try to come inside God's heart?

I Tried...

"...Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was little.
She wanted to teach me people have two sides.
A good side, a bad side.
A past, a future.
And that we must embrace both in someone we love.

And I tried."

This is a dialogue of Angelina Jolie in her movie with Johnny Depp, "The Tourist". These are striking words. Words that emphasize great love to a person no matter what or who he is.

When I was little I was an idealistic girl. I wished to fall in love with a person who is all good - a perfect guy. Somebody who I can introduce to my family and be very proud of. I wished this guy to be kind, to be humble, to be God-fearing, to be educated, to be good looking, to be rich, and most of all I wish this person to love me as I am. Somebody who will want to change only one thing in me - my last name.

I was idealistic, now I am realistic. I couldn't find these qualities all in one person, like all these couldn't be found in me. I realized I am a nobody - an imperfect person. As imperfect as I am, I fell in love with an imperfect guy. A guy who didn't finish his studies, a guy who had a "past", a guy who was not rich. I was lucky he's good looking, kind and boasted of his determination as a man to provide his love ones all the necessities.

As imperfect as we are, we had an imperfect marriage. A marriage that was a rollercoaster ride. There were ups and downs, laughter and pressures, love and disagreements. All these made us both strong, both matured, both knowledgeable, both accept our strengths and weaknesses. But these didn't change the fact, we're two different people, unique in ourselves. Some relationships are possible but because of differences it is sometimes very difficult to sustain. One thing I have to say...

"...people have two sides.
A good side, a bad side.
A past, a future.
And that we must embrace both in someone we love."


And I tried.

There Would Be No Fear

"Noken wori. Laik blong Big Man." says Ekop Boka

Ekop,64 years old, is one of my most loyal, and my second longest serving employee. He's been with me for 12 years as a carpenter, a cleaner, an errand. I was asking him if he knew about what is happening around the world. I told him about the biggest moon this week. He said he was asleep. I told him about the NZ and Japan quakes and the tsunami. He heard and felt sorry for them. I asked about the war at Libya. He didn't know but is sad to hear all this. I mentioned to him about 2012 prediction. He smiled and said "Mipla mas tenkim God...laik blong em" Translated, "We must thank God, His will be done."

I felt lighter after this short talk with Ekop. He is very simple, maybe also tired for his age but his spirit is still very alive. I searched deeply in my heart. His words are what I would like to hear. I have read about the Mayan Calendar, the predictions of Nostradamus, 2012 prediction and what is currently happening around the world. I was feeling very worried and very scared. How should I prepare? How could I save myself, my family and all that I love? What if? And just thinking about all these makes me scared even more. I am so attached to this world, I am so attached to this life that I forgot, we are all just transients in this world. We too shall pass when He says "It's over, your time has come. Join me." Then we have to go.

We do not hold tomorrow but our lives are in God's hands. In everyday life, we have to be prepared. What preparation? We have to trust in His love, trust in His faithfulness to us, then no matter what happens, there would be no fear.

On the Right Track

It is the time of the month that I crave for sweets, the time of the month that I suffer from excessive water retention. I regularly check my weight and saw that nothing's happening. I made another deal with my friend. We agreed to leave the weighing scale this weekend and I will lose 2kg by next Saturday.

Though we agreed, I did not stop from doing my daily exercise. In fact I learned that if you maintain the exercise, you also just maintain your weight. I have to eat less and work more to lose another kilo. Thanks to a friend who added Zumba (Waka-waka) to my activities and few hours in the badminton court helped a lot. Yesterday was supposed to be another "judgment day", though not official I stepped on the scale and was very happy about the result. I'm on the right track. I weighed just few little lines above 66kg.

My prize? 2 pcs bananas and that yummy pastry he bought with him in the office.

A Simple Prayer

Reading my journal, I came across this short prayer. I now do not remember whether this is my own or if I borrowed it from somewhere. But please allow me to share it.

Dear God,

I trust that no matter what happens in my life, it is for my highest good. And no matter what happens in the lives of those I love, it is for their highest good. From all things that are put before us, we shall become stronger and more loving people.

I am grateful for all the beauty and opportunity you put into my life. And in all that I do, I shall seek to be a channel of your love.

Amen.

Gates to 2011

My January is full of everything. It is filled with happiness, love, sadness, fear and surprises. Good beginning of the year. January - came from Janus - god of Roman mythology -god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings, endings and time. Most often he is depicted as having two heads, facing opposite directions; one head looks back at the last year while the other looks forward to the new, simultaneously into the future and the past.

January 2011 for me posed a mixture of emotions. January left a happy memory as started by the New Year's celebration surrounded by my whole family. This was our first New Year celebration together in ...*counting* ...31 years! The last time we had Christmas together was, I think, when I was in my 5th Grade. Then my dad had to leave and work overseas. I now have a son, in-laws, nephews and nieces. And I realized, how swiftly time had flown.

January also left a traumatic experience. Two of my cars got stolen in two consecutive weeks, Sexy, my black Honda CRV on the 4th and Hercules, my maroon Nissan Patrol on the 13th. I consider that I am still lucky because I was in the Philippines, otherwise I was the one driving those cars on both incidents. My staff who drove my cars had had an operation after the first incident. Hercules was recovered that same afternoon - LUCKY!

4th of January was a solemn experience. I visited the relic of Don Bosco at Don Bosco Seminary in Canlubang. That night, I prayed to God thru Don Bosco to help me with the problems I will be encountering this year. I specifically also asked for help for the recovery of my then stolen car.

The pain of separation also engulfed me in January. First was my sister, Leng and her family, left for US, then my brother, Aldrin, his family and I had to go back to PNG, too. With heavy heart, I had to leave my son, my parents and siblings, and I had to leave a new friend.

I always try to find good things in all the occasions I am into. Though my birthday was a very simple one this year, I was very happy because I celebrated it with few friends. Those few that I really wished to celebrate it with.

January was also a surprise filled month. I received unexpected gifts. I won the first prize - a motor bike from a Church's raffle. I received a nice birthday cake gift from my friend from Canada thru their staff in PNG. I received a call from the police headquarters, my black CRV's been found. Surprisingly, it's still intact, in good condition except the tint was heavily darkened. I am still very lucky, most stolen cars after weeks are left un-found or if found are already dismantled to sell off the parts. Only two items were missing - the registration plates and the spare tyre's cover.

January 2011 I received from my friend, Imelda, a gift. It is the picture of Jesus of Divine Mercy. I was not going to bring it with me but I suddenly found a space for it. I placed it at my breakfast area, facing the entrance door. Every morning I see it, I say the prayer written on it. "...Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, Have Mercy on us and the whole world. Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You".

January has opened the gates to my new year and somehow I have the idea about how it's going to be like. My 2011 is going to be full of life and happiness, full of love, full of things to be worried about, but will be filled with great things and surprises. And I will welcome it with full of gratitude and full of trust in God. My Lord and my God, you are my God, you are my only Good. Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in you.

You Are Near

"You know my heart and its ways, you formed it before I was born...
...Yahweh, I know You are near, standing always at my side.
You guard me from the foes, and you lead me in ways everlasting."

I have been through a lot, and I have said this a lot of times. Each time unwanted things happen, I call to Him for help, for protection, for guidance.

Now there is another trial in my life. I am glad this time I am in the Philippines, even in the very late hour of the night, I can drive out and find a place to be my shelter. I visited the Blessed Sacrament last night at the old St. Joseph Canlubang Church. The place was empty, very quiet, very peaceful. I was alone. I burst into tears and asked God for protection. I will be coming back again to PNG. I have been residing there for over 17 years now and each time I come back I know there is no assurance about my safety.

This is the first time that I am away for this long, and in my absence, things happened. I am not scared to come back to my home. I am just not happy about how things are going. There are lots of questions in my mind. But never did I question about God's presence. He is always near. He has protected me for years. He had been faithful to His promise. He never abandoned me, and I am thankful for all He has given me. I am thankful for all He has done for me. I am coming back with Him and as always, He will help me find solution to these problems.

Lord, I am again praying to You my prayer every minute. "Panginoon ko at Diyos ko, maraming salamat po. Ingatan Nyo po kami, ngayon at lagi-lagi, Amen."

Au Revoir

"Au plaisir de vous revoir" is contracted to Au revoir, a French word which literally means "to the pleasure of seeing you again."

This is a common expression this time of the year when family members go back to their respective provinces/countries of residences after spending the festive season of Christmas and New Year with the family. Last Sunday, 7th January 2011, I witnessed NAIA was "full-up" with people leaving the country. My sister, Leng, and her family (Robin and Kalel) were one of them. They were traveling back to US where they now reside. In few days (16th Jan), I together with my brother's family will also be leaving.

I saw the sad face of my sister as we kissed and bid each other goodbye. Being away for over 2 years, three weeks is so short a time for them to stay and be at home. But they have duties back where they now live. Duties that a responsible person will never take for granted.

Separation is always not easy, especially if you are leaving the "place" you really belong -the place that always bring happiness and laughter, the place where you feel so peaceful, the place you call home. This very minute, I am asking myself the same question that my sister asked herself. "Is my decision to live away from my family the best for me? It is sad to think that each day passes and we are not together."

It is destiny and choice that brought us where we are. For me, living in a place far away from home is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to grow independently. It is an opportunity to prove to myself that I am capable of doing things that will make my family and loved ones proud. It is an opportunity to reach for my dreams and help my family achieve their dreams, then inspire the little ones to keep on dreaming. To my family and loved ones, it may be sad to part ways again, but in this separation I wish us well. I wish that we will be stronger and wiser. I wish us happiness. And with all new gained strength and knowledge that we can share to our family, I will have the pleasure of seeing you all again.